In today’s society, we often have loud voices about how the woman deserves respect. We have a tendency to voice our opinion on how the woman WILL be respected. But sometimes we forget the men. The heads of the household are often disrespected. We are so focused on respect for the women, we over run and overpower the men.
A few days ago, my hubby and I were studying the bible. And the scripture got me to start thinking. I know, this is what it should do :-p but sometimes verses make you dig deeper than other times. The next day, Matt Walsh posted a blog post called “Your Husband doesn’t Have to Earn Your Respect.” We all know what respect means but do we all really know how to give it? I began pondering “What ways can a Wife show her respect for her husband?”
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
I think one of the best examples we can look at is Christ and his Church. How would Christ’s Church show respect to Christ? I asked my hubby to brainstorm with me. I wanted his input on how a wife could respect their husband. And here is the list we came up with.
List of Ways to Respect Your Husband
1.)Encourage them with Love. When he stumbles, be there for him and encourage him to get back on his feet. We all have our weaknesses and the devil is constantly looking to put stumbling blocks in our way. We should be there to offer a helping hand to help him back on his feet.
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
2.)Give input without a condescending attitude– No one likes it when someone talks to them with a condescending attitude. It shows the utmost disrespect to the person that is being spoken to. Most people, do not take this kind of criticism lightly and usually directly offends the person. If we respect our husband, we will speak to him with kindness. If you are helping your husband out with a project, giving him your honest opinion is valuable. But it must be done with respect and in a loving manner. Your input is worth something but if you try to put him down, respond with negativity in your voice, or even act like he is stupid, he probably won’t take lightly to your words.
My husband knows me very well and sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. He knows when I have had a rough day without me telling him. On rough days, my husband will offer to cook supper for me. Before I share the story, let me put out there, my husband is a pretty good cook. I glad fully accept his cooking offers. When I jot down recipes, there is often things I don’t write down because I know how, and what to do while cooking the recipe. I also have a habit of not following the recipe to a T but changing it where I see fit. Well, these changes I don’t write down and I often think some of this is a given without having to jot it down. I guess in a sense, I take cliff notes for my recipes. I didn’t realize I did this until he was following a recipe and he skipped a step (I didn’t have it written on the index card). This has happened on more than one occasion. When he told me it didn’t look right, I began asking did he do this, this, and this. He missed one step. The step that was missing from my written recipe. At first, I replied with “Why didn’t you follow the recipe?” And that is when he told me, “It didn’t say to do that.” I had to investigate the recipe and realized, he was right. Then I was baffled on how he didn’t know to this certain step that in my head, everyone knows to do this. I helped him fix the recipe but I was condescending. I acted as if, he SHOULD have known what to do. My attitude should have been, “sorry dear. I didn’t write it down on the recipe but that’s ok, it can be fixed.”
The bible tells us to humble our self. We should serve one another including our husband with meekness, humility, and gentleness.
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, (Ephesians 4:1-2)
3.) Disagreeing with kind words- Throughout the years of marriage, there will be many disagreements. You will not always see eye to eye on every single subject and that is ok. But if you do disagree, your response should be with kind words. Some of us can get very heated when someone doesn’t agree with us. Calling them an idiot, stupid, or whatever offensive name you can think of doesn’t do any good. And it definitely doesn’t show your husband respect. Respecting his opinion doesn’t mean you have to change your opinion to match his opinion. It simply means to hear his side of the argument and when you still don’t agree, explain your side calmly and kindly. If you both can not see eye to eye on the issue, simply agree to disagree and respect his opinion.
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone,able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, (1 Timothy 2:23-25)
4.) Be the help meet- As the wife, we are called to be the help meet. God said it is not good for the man to be alone. We are called to help our husbands out. If he is working on a project, help him out. Help him get the tools. While he is at work, clean the home, cook the food, do the laundry. Take care of the household duties.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18)
5.) Submissive vs. Dominating
Often, we see two different kinds of women in the home. You have the submissive women and then you have the dominating women. The women is either submissive to her husband and other times, you have the woman who acts like the head of the household.
The Bible tells women to be submissive to their husband. Just like Christ is the head of the Church so is the husband over the household. Women are should submit to their husbands EVEN if the husband is an unbeliever. In 1 Peter 3, it states the wife should submit so that the husband might be won over by seeing her pure, honorable conduct, and deep respect.The believing wife could possibly win over the unbelieving husband by letting her light shine.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
Most Christian woman understand how they should not act like the head of the household. Most men also tend to use this verse to “put their woman in their place” so to speak. Scripture clearly shows how the woman should not be dominating in her home and be subject to her husband. But there is such a thing as being too submissive.
Many Christians today have became so passive with their faith, we don’t stand for anything. I think the same concept can be applied to the wives. Yes, we should submit to our husbands but if you husband tells you to do something that is against the Bible, then you should obey God. The heroes of the Bible stood firm in what they believed in. They didn’t back down to kings, rulers, or anyone who had dominion over them when it came to disobeying God. Women shouldn’t be submissive if it violates God’s commands.
To explain myself, here is an example. Most men today have easy access to pornography. Men tend to struggle with lust more than women. There are also many stumbling blocks placed in their path. A woman in short shorts walking through the grocery store. The half naked woman displayed on most magazines placed at the checkout stand. Advertisements blasting through the television on a family network with women prancing around in lingerie. All these things are thrown at men these days but it doesn’t give them an excuse to take part in this. When men do this, not only are they disobeying God, but also corrupting their marriage. Jesus said that whosoever looked at a woman with lust had already committed adultery in his heart. (Matthew 5:28) Most women today make excuses for their husbands saying, “I don’t care where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home for supper.” Or, “It’s only natural for men to take part in this.” Or, “It’s no big deal” but deep down it hurts their marriage and hurts the wife. This attitude is wrong.
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)
By saying it is ok for men to lust after women, we are calling evil good and good evil. In this case, the women should stand firm and hold to her faith. If she simply doesn’t say anything, she is condoning the wrongful actions. She should tell her husband, “Hey lusting after women is wrong, God calls it a sin, and it hurts me.” This is not being dominant. This is speaking up and standing up for what is right. If a woman was being beaten by her husband, should she simply be submissive?
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Somewhere between these two extremes, we need to find a happy medium. We should be submissive to our husbands but not willing to waver on right from wrong.
6.) Praise Him for his Accomplishments– Men LOVE to hear praises when they have done a good job. I don’t think this stretches just to the men, but to everyone. When we accomplish something, we like to hear good things and a husband wants to hear the praises from his wife. He needs to hear it. He needs to know his wife loves, supports, and sees his worth.
7.)Support Him during good times and the bad- We say our wedding vows stating that we will stick with them though sickness and in health, in the good and bad times. We are making a vow to God that we will stick it out with that one special person until death. Supporting that special someone is often easy when things are going well. Sometimes, supporting them during the bad times can be tough. But through the trials of your relationship a better understanding of each other can be accomplished and a marriage can grow stronger from it. Use the bad times to learn and grow to make more good times.
8.)Let him have his projects- About a year or 2 ago, my husband had this idea that he could build a shed out of pallets (thank you pinterest lol). He could get the pallets for free from his work. We talked it over and we agreed he would start on his project. He used Google Sketchup to make a blueprint. He got a buddy to help him haul them home. The whole time, he had an ear to ear grin. Let me tell you, I wasn’t fond of this idea but the pallets were free and our current shed wasn’t in great condition. He brought home 100+ pallets and placed them in our back yard. Fast forward to now, 2 years later, and those 100+ pallets are still sitting in our back yard. We are currently giving them away to anyone that wants some as well as using them for small projects. Needless to say, the shed isn’t being built. In my husband’s defense, we were placed in a high risk flood zone. We had to have a surveyor come out so we didn’t have to pay for insurance we couldn’t afford and didn’t think we needed. 95% of the time we are in a drought. And they wanted to keep us in a flood zone because of our rusty, leaky shed that has no door on it. Anyways, after is was all said and done, we got the flood insurance taken off and now we basically can’t build any structure in our back yard unless we want to add flood insurance to it. It’s ridiculous but that’s how everything fell.
My husband said he felt respected because I didn’t prevent him from trying to start his project. He said I respected him enough to attempt to build a shed. When we were discussing this blog post, he brought this example up to me. At first, I didn’t see how this showed him respect but to him, it meant a whole lot to him that I had approved his idea. Now he has brought materials home to build an aquaponics system.
If his projects or interests don’t interfere with the budget, family time, or is causing him to stumble, then let him have his projects.
9.) Make time for him
Things can get hectic when having kids, friends, family, church, etc. When you respect someone you will make time for that person. We should show our husbands enough respect to put down the phone when he gets home from work. Take a break from the household chores to spend some time with him. Close out the computer, tablet, cell phone, book, or whatever distraction that is in your way and give him your undivided attention. Simply giving him eye contact can shows respect. He needs your undivided attention.
10.) Speak only kindly about your husband
Most women like to talk. And sometimes our mouths can get us in trouble. When speaking about our husband, we should speak about his good points and speak only positively about him. If we do have an issue with our spouse, we should talk to them in private without “other ears” listening. I feel when a husband and a wife have a disagreement, it should be handled behind closed doors. The children do not need to hear the quarreling. We have to remember, our children are like sponges. They soak up everything including the bad. If we are disrespectful to our husband or even speak negatively about him to a friend or family member, they might think this attitude is ok.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (Ephesians 4:29)
What did we miss? What are some things you do to respect your husband? Husbands, how do you feel respected by your wives?
Our Blessed Nest Blog 
